


A Quick Break: A Crack Fic

by jaycat8214



Series: Crack of the Wild [1]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Why is my brain like this?, couch thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24613798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaycat8214/pseuds/jaycat8214
Summary: This came to me out of the blue. As the gamer, we change weapons and clothing and eat food all the time in BOTW, but what would it be like in game? What would happen during a battle?
Series: Crack of the Wild [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888123
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	A Quick Break: A Crack Fic

Link panted as his quivering arms raised his mighty ladle. The looming red bokoblin screeching in joy as it anticipated a tasty hero meal. Link grimaced, his odds didn’t look too good. Maybe he had something in his Sheikah Slate that could solve this problem.

He dropped his sword arm along with his trusty ladle as he dipped into a bow. “Pardon me, good sir. Would you care if we took a small break as I browse through my items in search for something that will aid my quest in killing you?” There was a brief moment of an awkward silence before Link dared to glance upward.

The bokoblin was gesturing wildly in frustration. If Link were to translate, he thought the monster would be saying, “THIS IS THE THIRD TIME IN THIS BATTLE THAT YOU ASKED FOR A BREAK SO YOU COULD LOOK THROUGH THAT TINY USELESS MACHINE FOR A WEAPON OR TO CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES!” The monster sighed before giving its consent for the break.

Quick as a whip Link yanked out his Sheikah Slate and started to look through it. “I have a twig branch? No, not strong enough,” he mumbled, “Maybe eat some fried bananas for extra strength?” He scratched his head thoughtfully. He glanced up and winced slightly. “I’m sorry, just a moment?” The bokoblin snorted and continued to stare off into the distance in boredom.

“Hmm, maybe if I changed clothing that would help?” He tapped his lips thoughtfully with his finger. “Maybe the barbarian set would help?” Link pulled out the barbarian helm, armor and leg wraps from the Sheikah Slate and dropped them onto the ground. He looked up at the bokoblin as he stripped off his hylian trousers, “Oh sorry, don’t mind me.” The bokoblins rolled its eyes as it continued to gaze into the distance.

Link hummed as he changed his clothes. Once he was done he used the blacked out Sheikah Slate as a mirror. He twisted and turned as he admired his reflection. “Mmm, it’s good for attacking but it doesn’t really suit my body…” He opened the Sheikah Slate once more to browse through his options.

“Oooo! The stealth set? It’s very flattering on my body and it makes me super quiet!” Link wriggled in joy as he pulled the clothes from slate. He hummed softly as he delicately stepped into his tights and gently tugged them up. He finished fixing the armor and his mask before pulling his hair up into a bun. Link shoved chopsticks into his bun as a finishing touch.

Once again, he used his Sheikah Slate as a mirror, looking this way and that way. “It’s cute and all but I think something that showed a little more skin would be better,” he trailed off thoughtfully. Link’s face lit up in delight, “I know!” he exclaimed.

He frantically fumbled with the Sheikah Slate as he searched for the item he wanted. He scrambled to change clothes. Link relished the soft fabric that covered his body. He squealed in delight as he viewed his reflection. “This is what I was looking for! I look great in this!” He jumped and clapped his hands in excitement.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” Link mumbles as he packs up his stuff. A loud sound jolted him out of his stupor. He turned around to see a red bokoblin fast asleep on the ground. Link looked around stumped. “When did it get so dark?” he pondered. Link shrugged, “I guess I can continue on my journey.” He stealthily creeped away from the bokoblin and walked into the distance.

From that day onward, the monsters of Hyrule passed down a tale. A tale of the hero being an annoying piece of $#!* that would stop in the middle of battle to play dress up.

**Author's Note:**

> The original idea was when Link is falling. I mean, can you imagine Link trying to change clothes as he's falling off a cliff ready to go splat? XD


End file.
